So we saw the most hilarious thing in Big W today: someone obviously high on something (or extremely mentally deficient, though that's probably insulting to the handicapped) attempting to shop lift with a swagger, only to completely ruin the thing.
We're checking out at the self-checkout, and we see a guy in a zip-up hoodie and sunglasses stuff something up his sweater - in the middle of the front aisle! He then swaggers out the door, but drops a bag of chocolates on the floor right on the threshold. He then disappears around the corner as security is called.
I couldn't contain my laughter - it was just such an idiotic display that I wasn't even sure he wasn't testing them or something. Anyway, after we're all checked out and walking along the mall, a cop started running past us. I'm pretty sure a cop isn't going to bother running if the guy's 10 minutes away, so they probably got him.
It was about the funniest thing I could have seen, and it made me forget to snap a photo of the coffee shop's scary-quotes. "Employment" Opportunities Available indeed.