Maybe you haven’t realised this, but most people play multiplayer games for fun. If you’re the kind to spawn-camp, you’re probably not smart enough to realise this, but you tend to have your most fun when you’re overcoming adversity – when in a brief moment of brilliance you do something that’s postively awesome against all odds.
Spawn camping, the act of sitting outside the opposing team’s “spawn area” waiting for people to come out so you can kill them – in TF2 this is usually accomplished via a Demoman laying sticky bombs on the outside of the door and detonating when it’s open.
The chief argument for spawn camping is that if the other team is terrible enough to get pushed back to their spawn, that they somehow deserve it. Sure, that may be true. Sure, it usually only takes one or two good ubercharges to make it out of the spawn in TF2. But that’s not the point – most competitive players like to pretend that what they do isn’t entirely fucking irrelevant and like to pretend it’s almost a sport (as if “sport” isn’t somehow more irrelevant than video gaming), so if it’s a sport: how about a little fuckin’ sportsmanship?
Note that this isn’t some whiny post because I just got spawn-camped. Actually our “Moodoo” group doesn’t typically go around comparing dicks or anything, but no that practically never happens. If I can flex my e-penis a bit, we’re usually on the giving side of the ass-whippings which is why we want to start playing competitively soon. No, more often than not, the team that one or more of our group members is on ends up on the side that winds up having some dickhole who does it.
Look at it this way, most non-degenerate people don’t find repeated ambushing of someone fun for very long. Even if you do find it fun, is it so important for you to have fun that you’d deny someone else fun? Rage quits are so much fun! Until you have no one else to play with. Maybe it’s cat-like sadism, but Team Moodoo likes to toy with the other team instead. We know goddamn good and well if we worked together we could push back probably 90% of the Team Fortress 2 audience back to their spawn. If it happens, it’s so much more fun to let ‘em out and make the game continue – the same way a cat has more fun by almost letting the mouse escape rather than killing it instantly.
Perhaps I’m among the minority of the TF2 audience, but I’d rather lose a good game than win a stacked game. What surprises me (or perhaps not) but most of the people who’d rather win a stacked game than lose under any circumstances are adults. It’s not like this is some juvenile thing that people will out-grow, it seems like the majority of the TF2 audience aren’t having fun unless they’re winning – period. That means, unfortunately, except in rare occasions where the game is super balanced and teams are trading wins, that 50% of the audience isn’t having fun.
No, I have the most fun when everyone else is having fun. When everyone else is doing their best and someone kills me with some bullshit shot – that’s fun!
Perhaps it’s not surprising, but the people who are inclined to spawn-camp also tend to be the ones who cry the loudest when the teams are stacked and it’s not in their favour. These people are having a blast when they’re one of four Demomen standing outside your spawn, right mouse button finger poised at the ready – but the whining begins the minute they’re on the receiving end. “Do unto others” is lost on these people, they paid their $10-$50 for the game, and goddamnit they’re gonna have their fun – fuck everyone else.
Do me a favour, try having a little sportsmanship for once. If you’re one of a few people camping a spawn and there’s only a minute left, back up. Even if you lose, won’t it be more fun than just sitting there waiting for someone to walk into your FoV?
If you’re an extra player on a team that’s rolling the other team, switch! Sure you’re having fun dominating four people, but think about how much better you’d feel about your skills if the team that’s getting rolled starts winning because you switched. Think of the ego-boost you’ll get from being so influential to a game’s outcome that you single-handedly turned the tide.
Don’t you think switching teams and going from losing to sweet victory in 60 seconds would be more fun than 60 seconds of spawn camping for a hollow win?
And what’s more to the point, if you can’t do these things then you have no business spawn camping – because you’re not that good. You’re winning because your team is good, no help from you – or you’re winning because the other team is just shit, period. So stop acting like it’s somehow the other team’s fault because you’re spawn camping, you egotistical prick. You suck, and the only way you can get any kills is ambushing someone with your sticky-and-right-mousebutton prowess as they walk out of their spawn.
So, in closing – you think you’re a good player, so how about being a good sport?
Tags: tf2
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