Earlier tonight, I had my son on my lap because it was way past his sleep time and I wanted to get him asleep before the cranks set in. So there he was, on my lap, smiling at me through his dummy every time I told him “Go to sleep”… when I heard it.
The most horrific, gut wrenching butt-gurgle I’ve ever heard. The kind of thing they warn you about in prenatal vitamin reviews. I literally felt dirty after hearing this, certain in my fate that I was now covered in shit that had escaped a diaper.
When I opened it up to survey the damage? A mark about the size of a nickel. I was both disappointed and relieved, and I’m not entirely sure why.
P.S. I only wrote this because it’ll gross a couple certain people out. I always swore I’d never post a blog about kid shit, but hey at least I didn’t photograph it.
BRB camera.